ACUHO-I News Blog

For college freshmen, moving onto campus and officially entering the undergraduate experience can be frightening, sure. But these fears are generally overshadowed by the excitement of meeting new roommates, enrolling in classes, exploring campus, and all manner of Welcome Week activities with enough university swag and free food to fill a residence hall room.

The experience of parents dropping off their students offers less distraction, and more difficulty. In today’s world of GPS trackers in cell phones and moms and dads adding sons and daughters on Facebook, it’s widely accepted that this generation of parents is more involved in their childrens’ lives than ever before. This creates a challenge for university personnel, who must ensure that both the incoming crop of students and their parents feel cared for and comfortable with the move-in process, while still allowing for the inevitable separation that will occur.

According to this LA Times article, more and more colleges and universities are offering “parent orientations” to help parents adjust to the idea of leaving their children on their own. These workshops address nearly every detail about the college experience that might give a parent anxiety, including dorm life, financial aid and alcohol abuse. Some schools are even hiring new staff to serve as full-time parent liaisons.

And this NY Times article (with the accompanying ‘Letter to the Editor’ responses!), looks at approaches taken by universities designed to “punctuate and speed the separation,” including formal departure ceremonies and official check-out times for parents.

Any personal or professional stories from members? Over-anxious parents, attending seminars for first-year students? Or sneaking into freshman book discussion groups? What changes have been made (if any) to manage those parents who have a tough time letting go?

I spent a recent weekend with my partner and his family, including his four-month-old nephew. When we visited my partner’s aunt at her nursing home, I held the baby on my lap and told him stories about the people in his life. I explained to him that Uncle Dan knows everything about computers right now, but it may someday be his job to teach Uncle Dan things as technology advances. I told him about his Aunt Katie, who is an accountant and will teach him about budgeting for college. One by one, I went through the family members.

“And I will teach you everything you need to know about going away to college,” I told him. “If you need me to, I can also teach your mommy and daddy how to send their student away to college and maintain appropriate boundaries.”

His mother laughed, but as I regaled her with stories of parents and grandparents who have contacted me recently, she realized that in seventeen years, my expertise may be needed.

Only a few days later I was on the phone with a local travel agent booking my flights to the ACUHO-I Annual Conference and Exposition. He gathered the information from me he needed to make the reservation, including my department name.

“My nephew is going to school there next year, and is going to live on campus. Any tips I can pass along to him?” he asked. He finished making my reservation while I talked to him about involvement and community. Before we hung up, he thanked me and said, “I had no idea how much living on campus has changed since I was in school.”

As much effort as we put into educating students about residence life, I wonder what institutions are doing to educate parents and families about what we do. On my task list for my summer interns is creating a parent resource for our incoming residents. We have a visible presence at orientation and Welcome Week. But is that enough?

What are your institutions doing to include parents and family in the residential experience?

As some ACUHO-I members have sent their own children off to college, they have faced the prospect of becoming collegiate “helicopter parents” themselves, and perhaps felt some sympathy for the urge  one has to make sure everything goes well for one’s children as they venture into the world. Pamela Matthews, in an article in Inside HigherEd, says she can relate.